Amy’s example on Lonliness & A.W. Tozer on Lonliness

So how can a mother of 3 with a wonderful husband feel lonely? Well, it happens. I think I have found that although there are a billion things that I could do to keep me occupied & 1 million questions my lovely 3 children can come up with to keep me entertained – there is just something that only God can fill. Not to mention the spiritual realm we live in. I mean, if we could just see the wars going on! But, sometimes that knowledge doesn't feel like the answer. Yes, I am sharing maybe more than you would!

I've said it before….this past year on the mission field has been by far the toughest year of my life. However, I am so thankful to the Lord for all He has done in my life through those trials. That being said, on to the next "work" the Lord is doing in my life…..

So I am sitting here thinking about Thanksgiving and holidays back in America, my Mom's birthday I wasn't there for, friends and even a real grocery store & I begin feeling a bit glum. That being said - tonight the kids and I stay home from church. I am not going to go and put on a "happy face". I am not a good liar, so I will just give myself to the Lord & let Him settle it! Trent encourages me to pray that a "wall" is down. I am not threatened by that. In fact I am encouraged – Wow! An answer! That would be lovely. That does sound a bit sarcastic, but I meant it.

Yes, I have taken the bait the enemy has put before me! I am welcoming the "pity party" – after all I am the guest of honor! But I still know this is wrong thinking and I just want the Lord to take it!!!! Can you not just see the war waging!! The devils on one side showing me all things great & luring me into despair – then Jesus reaching out His hand of truth! I have decided to reach for His hand! Lord help me!

Then I come across this writing by A.W. Tozer on Lonliness. It encouraged me so, that I want to let you read it.

The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone.

The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.

The man [or woman] who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. He finds few who care to talk about that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the reputation of being dull and over-serious, so he is avoided and the gulf between him and society widens.

He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.

It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else."

Ok! So did you get that last part? The part of how lonliness throws him back upon God? Well, it all made sense. I mean, I had heard the saying, "You'll never know Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have." Well, I can't say I do not have anything else. I do have a lovely husband & children I adore. I am not sure where that quote originated from & I am sure I am in no way at a loss of people/things as the author. But! What I have been missing is the Christian fellowship. So, to have read this – it comforted me.

Not to mention that just this morning I was reading in Hebrews about how Jesus suffered being tempted, he is able to succor (help, relieve) them that are tempted. This passage brought me to tears as I meditated upon it! Hebrews 2:18 Jesus mercifully sympathizes with us because he too suffered and was tempted!!!

I share my heart openly. I am sure there are people out there more spiritual than me, and not as weak. But to those who have hardships I pray that the Lord will allow His light to shine through this cracked vessel to encourage you too!